Saturday, May 11, 2013

Look into my eyes!

Tuesday morning training I had to walk on a wire in the air, and I had to lean on a teammate who was walking on another wire across from me. We were our only support to make it across the wire. Our goal was to make it half way. 
My teammate Mariah was the person who went up with me. It was so hard for me to let go of the pole we had climbed up to get there, because I was so nervous about the height. The cords strapped to us were little comfort to me.

I kept losing my balance, and screaming as I flailed in the air. Mariah then told me to look into her eyes, and focus on leaning on her. I would focus on her eyes, and we would take a few steps further on the wire. Then I would look away, and just like a science, I lost my balance every time. Then Mariah would remind me to look into her eyes, I would focus, and we would take a few more steps.

It didn’t take long for me to realize that it was looking directly into Mariah’s eyes that kept me focused enough to keep walking. If I even looked down to her nose, I lost my balance.I thought the lesson from the activity was to learn to lean on my teammates, but through out the day I started to learn something that was much more profound for me.

October 2011 I had just started my internship working with foster kids. I was so troubled, seeing how much the kids needed God, but not knowing how to get that to them when God was forbidden in government agencies. One night I couldn't sleep because I was so restless over the question of how to help foster kids. That's when God told me to apply to ORU and go learn how to be a Christian social worker. I sat up that moment, and at 2 in the morning I submitted an application.

I came to ORU with a vision and purpose; to learn the ways of God, and learn how to reach America's foster children.
It didn't take long after getting to ORU, for me to get all caught up in the hype of the school. I got so caught up in meeting all sorts of cool people, and doing all sorts of cool things, that school became all about having fun and getting a degree. I lost the vision.I became more curious about who would be the next famous person to visit campus, than figuring out what it would take to bring Christ into the foster care system.

As I stood on the wire looking into Mariah's eyes, I realized that when I lose sight of the vision, I lose balance. Just as Peter sank into the water when he took his eyes off Jesus in Matthew 14. I loss sight of why  I was at ORU, and as a result I have begun to lose motivation and desire. Homework became a chore, class became a bore.  These last few weeks lack of energy has been a major problem for me. All I want to do is sleep and it feels I can never get enough. I have been praying, asking God to give me my energy back, but I see now, God was trying to give me my vision back.

I lost track of why I came to ORU. When I lose vision, I lost motivation, and when I lost motivation, I lost energy. When I lost energy, I got lazy.

I felt a light switch turn on in the preaching Tuesday night, when the speaker said, "You're faithfulness and diligence today, will shake the nations tomorrow. Your laziness today, will make you in effective and will rob the futures of those you are supposed to help tomorrow."

This week my vision has been renewed. I have always felt a call to greatness; a call to change the world. This is why I came to ORU. This is why I must not tire of the mundane work. My laziness today, may cost souls tomorrow.

It is true for me. It is true for every one. We have not even left for Africa yet, and already I can say I am forever changed by this experience.

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